Navidson

Is anyone here familiar with the book House of Leaves, the debut novel by the American author Mark Z. Danielewski? No? Really? It was a best-seller and everything! Hmmph. So I guess any jokes I make about Metafilter's latest spammer Navidson being named after The Navidson Record would be wasted on you, huh? Fine. Let's just look at Navidson's four throwaway comments, then. The first one is a funny one... but more on that after these 'messages.'

"Nowadays you can even make your own cloud and use it as advertising."
(from the Don't hang around 'cause two's a crowd FPP)

"Amazing! Much more awesome than SmrtrChild. Real awesomeness though? Is when you get two robots to chat with each other."
(from the DR. SBAITSO WAS MY ONLY FRIEND. FPP)

"Found the full bot-to-bot chat. Sort of beautiful."
(also from the DR. SBAITSO WAS MY ONLY FRIEND. FPP)

"Thanks to anti-gay marriage actions like this, discrimination is still alive and well."
(from the Bible gets sued FPP)

Remember how I said that the first comment was funny? You'll notice that all of Navidson's comments had a hyperlink, except the first. That's because I removed it. Why? Because the link in his very first comment was a link to his crappy website! The same website he would later spam Metafilter with in a terrible FPP! Isn't that hilarious? No? Really?

Figures. I shouldn't have expected any less from a bunch of people who never read House of Leaves. Frankly I'm glad that cortex banned this guy. Without Navidson we never would have had this conversation, I'd never have known you were all a bunch of humourless philistines, and everything would have been a lot better right now!

Get bent, Navidson!

[Learn more about this spammer at the Deleted Thread Blog]

Helixxx

Perhaps Helixxx had tried to audition for a part in the latest Vin Diesel flick. Perhaps he's some tawdry porn star. Or perhaps he's just a spammer. One of these three scenarios is not only probably; it's correct. I'll leave you to ponder which one it is as I relate to you the four comments he contributed to the site before his demise.

"I totally just ordered a pack. I wonder what sushi will taste like...."
(from the Magic Fruit Turns Sour to Sweet FPP)

"I love the fact that as every time I get bored with the TV Show (which has happened a lot less this Season than in Season 3) that there's always an internet game to explore for more content. I really, truly hope that the lines between TV, internet, video games, movies, podcasts and music continue to blur until every concept, every "show" can immerse us in different forms of media. This is the real contribution of Lost, besides a great storyline. Making the audience a participant in mythology. JJ Abrams for President!!"
(from the Meta-Media FPP)

"I'm sorry. I'm a totally, lefty-pinko-liberal pacifist...but this mofo is pretty damn cool!! They MUST incorporate this into Halo 4."
(from the UAV Sniper Drone FPP)

"Come on!! Of course it's faked!
1. Nobody's can maintain a hissy-fit with that level of intensity for that long.
2. Nobody slide tackles this guy until the very end
3. Nobody in their right mind (which clearly he wasn't) stay in trashed room and doesn't make a run for it, or at least go trash other rooms.
Either way, it should be sent to all the managers that are contemplating downsizing in this perilous economy."
(from the Insert Office Space Jokes here. Or don't. FPP)

There was a fifth comment, but this was in his own spammy FPP, one which cortex dutifully deleted before banning Helixxx and banning him good. And such is the tale of how Metaflter rid itself of another one of its lefty-pinko-liberal pacifists. And a spammer as well. Yes, that was the one that he was (not the porn star or XXX extra).

[Learn more about this spammer at the Deleted Thread Blog]

Eavesy

Eavesy didn't really try to hide her self-link. A mere 4 comments after joining the site, she "just found this pretty cool post about..." well it dosen't really matter does it? Anyone who just found a pretty cool post about something and posts it to Metafilter on their first post is usually guilty, right? Eavesy certainly was, and got The Banhammer for her trouble. Best of all, it appears that not only was it a self-link, it was a failed self-link (meaning she borked the URL on her first attempt). Here's what she had to say before the heavens descended upon her.

"@miss lynnster it can swing the other way, if a guy is really ugly it can help him to cover up his face."
(from the "Each day, every man must decide either to shave or not to shave. The act can be one of conformity, rebellion, laziness, or transition." FPP)

""Is something troubling you my son" - Classic"
(from the Shall we say one million... AH-HA! FPP)

"O'h the poor bunnies, what could anyone have against them?"
(from the I'm mellltiiiiing! FPP)

"it should be working now, read before you judge, I am new here so I maybe should not have submitted it, will try and write a better description next time."
(from her own spammy FPP which I'm not linking too)

The Banhammer was wielded by both jessamyn and mathowie in this instance and Eavesy was dispatched of easily.

Democrat69.

Democrat69 may or may not be running for President right now. Probably not. Look, who knows? What we can say, however, is that if they were running for presidency of the 'Honorary Roll of Great Metafilter Contributors' club (it's a secret club... you wouldn't know anything about it), their primary race would be very much over now. Their campaign mistake? Most reporters agree that spamming the Metafilter front page (after just 4 comments) with a terrible FPP about a fitness site he or she just "happened to stumble upon" was the death knell. Here were Democrat69's pearls of utterly sane wisdom, straight from the transcripts of the latest 'impromptu' town hall meeting.

"This is just absolutely crazy"
(from the That's just insane! FPP)

"Pretty crazy, I like celebs better, D'angelo went from buff to fat. my fav."
(from the 50 helpful kitchen tips. FPP)

"LOL, Whoever made those pictures was 100% high!"
(from the What's up bud! FPP)

"That is a very cool site, old school bookmarked.... IMO if someone doesn't have any interest in any part of history they have a serious problem.... mall shooter? Cool Site"
(from the Yesterday, and Before FPP)

Crazy man! Whoa, he's so high! Oops. Looks like he overdosed and cortex was the poor sod who found the body. au revoir, Democrat69!