lanycwriter

Metafilter's latest spammer, lanycwriter, liked to write. So much so that she writes her own blog, which she decided to link to, ensuring her banning. Strangely, she didn't seem to like writing wordy comments. She didn't even like writing a lot of comments on Metafilter, writing only three before spamming the site. Here's what she wrote;

"That cat will kill you in your sleep, man."
(from the Pets for the rich FPP)

"I just think it's weird that she's getting so touchy that people think she's good looking. Won't there still be time for pole vaulting when she's past her prime modeling years? Just a thought."
(from the What it feels like for a girl. FPP)

"Jail is supposed to suck, right? That's why it's jail. That herpes things makes alot of sense, though...."
(from the That's Hot FPP)

Banning is supposed to suck. That's why it's called being banned. Spamming the site never makes sense though, as aptly proven by jessamyn when she pushed the Big Red Ban Button. Sionara, lanycwriter!

[Learn more about this spammer at the Deleted Thread Blog]

pickaloo

I have a confession to make. I'm a Nintendo fan boy. I started with a NES back in the 80s and since then I've owned a SNES, a Gameboy, an N64, a Gamecube, a DS and I own a Wii. But only a few months ago I bought my first ever non-Nintendo console. I bought a PS3. And I love it. Blu-ray is great, having a wireless media server is a dream and lately my Wii has been collecting dust as I play Grand Theft Auto 4 every weekend. So it's fair to say that I'm a fan of the PS3. But then someone like pickaloo comes along and ruins everything. It seems as though the only reason pickaloo joined Metafilter was to optimise search engine results for the PS3. His spammy FPP was nothing more than a statement, really, that the PS3 exists. Pathetic! His three throwaway comments weren't any better either; indeed, they were all from the one thread! Observe the lameness...

"Taking 20 will cure aids!"
(from the I've got a gut feeling. . . this could work FPP)

"Ridiculous!"
(also from the I've got a gut feeling. . . this could work FPP)

"That's just idiotic!"
(also from the I've got a gut feeling. . . this could work FPP)

Maybe pickaloo had a gut feeling that he could get away with his SEO ways. The wrathful mathowie, however, showed him otherwise. And so pickaloo was forever banned, as is only proper. The only upside? Given that his comments were brief and all in the one thread, writing about his was quick and easy, leaving me more time to play Grand Theft Auto 4. Until next time! Or maybe I should play Mario Kart, just to spite him...

[Learn more about this spammer at the Deleted Thread Blog]

RustyBottoms

Time for another retro post and this one is a corker. It is the infamous 'Pretty Flowers' thread that was started by RustyBottoms. Rusty may only have contributed three throw-away comments to Metafilter before spamming the front page, but his contribution to the site turned out to be priceless. Before we go on, let's take a look at what he had to say.

"that's great. it's like talk soup for the web."
(from the Best Of The Web 2.0 FPP)

"poor baby"
(from the Nature Happens FPP)

"is this a sorryeverybody for christians? maybe too little too late."
(from the Christians have an obligation, a mandate, a commission, a holy responsibility to reclaim the land for Jesus Christ FPP)

The resulting thread was somehow overlooked by the moderators for a while (obviously this was back in the days before vacapinta joined the team) and in the ensuing chaos, MeFites had a helluva lot of fun, posting jokes, images and generally just ripping Rusty (not his real name) and his band 'Pretty Flowers' apart. The greatest fun to be had was the merciless photoshopping of the photos of the band from the site to include everything and anything, including the web-meme of the moment, Ceiling Cat.

Rusty chimed in on the thread to the tune of another 4 comments in a vain attempt to save himself and what little credibility his crappy band had but in the end, he couldn't compete with a simple pressing of The Ban Button by an unnamed moderator. Rusty's Bottom having been booted to the curb, Metafilter was safe again, but everyone who participated in that thread still has fond memories of those two fun filled hours.

lifelock

It's been an unusually slow month for spammers over at Metafilter. This is a Good Thing, but it's a Bad Thing insofar as new posts over here at Musings is concerned. So given that no-one has tried to hock their wares recently, I've decided to dig deep into the archives for a couple of retro posts!

The first of the two today is spammer lifelock who, as spammers almost always seem to do, gave us three throw-away comments before spamming us. What terribly important things did he have to say? Let's look through the mists of time and find out...

"Congrats!"
(from the Friday Flash: Areas FPP)

"Yeah, I love baking... and I always got burn when cooking..\m/"
(from the DANGER POINT!! YOU LEFT THE OVEN ON! FPP)

"fine, need to know more"
(from the Demonstration over MetaFilter FPP)

It seems lifelock's intent want to protect people from identity theft but following a swing of The Almighty Banhammer by mathowie, it was lifelock's identity that was ultimately lost. The result? lifelock was locked out.

[Learn more about this spammer at the Deleted Thread Blog]

mmkaos

OK mmkaos, the jig is up. We know who you really are. There's no denying it. You're Conrad Sigfried, Vice President of KAOS, aren't you? A-ha! Thought so! Only Sigfried would stoop so low as to spam Metafilter after just three throwaway comments. I'd tell you to shush but as I understand it, you don't shush at KAOS. What were his three throwaway comments, then? Would you believe...

"Not sure if anyone can answer this question, but why are the prices always moving around from day to day. One day its $3.85 and then literally the next day, the same gas station has the same gas for $.15 more. How does this happen? The gas is already in the ground! Can someone answer that?"
(from the The fix is in FPP)

"Maybe then they'll actually brew a beer worth drinking."
(from the Cette bud n'est pas pour vous FPP)

"Love Free anything....might have to check it out!"
(from the Another Reason You Wish You Were David Byrne FPP)

mmkaos, would you believe that this building is surrounded by 50 CONTROL agents? Would you believe 40 CONTROL agents? How about an angry boy scout? Girl scout? How about jessamyn weilding The Banhammer? Ah well. If only mmkaos had used his or her posting powers for goodness and niceness instead of evil spamming, the account wouldn't have been deleted.

[Learn more about this spammer at the Deleted Thread blog]

bingodude

Today it was bingodude who decided to take a punt and spam Metafilter. After only two comments (although I am informed that 4 were apparently deleted by the mods before he spammed the site) bingodude spammed Metafilter with a site dedicated to... bingo! It's dedicated to bingo, the game where hordes of senior citizens stand a chance of making their pension check a little bigger than it was when they got it. Let's review his two remaining comments, shall we?

"I'm with amyms on this one!"
(from the Cyber Command Über Alles FPP)

"HA Ha!! do you really think we'll be needing airbags with these?"
(from the Inflatable Electric Cars FPP).

In his maiden spammer killing, vacapinta wielded The Banhammer with style, grace and aplomb. And thus did this round of bingo end for bingodude, and he went home far poorer for the experience.

UPDATE: It turns out that bingodude had a comment in Metafilter Music I missed. Here it is.

"Melikes!"
(from the 1979 song).

Also in the hours since I posted this, vacapinta seems to have been pushed aside as claimer of the kill by none other than mathowie himself. Weird. But there you go, anyway.

[Learn more about this spammer at the Deleted Thread blog]
Thanks to WalterMitty for the heads up!

Smuggler

After contributing the standard three throwaway comments, Smuggler did, in the dead of night, smuggle in his spammy FPP about his production company named Smuggler. Smuggler by name, spammer by nature, one would think Smuggler would be better at smuggling spam. Instead, Smuggler's spam smuggling attempts resulted in an FPP that was so obviously a case of poorly smuggled spam that it resulted in a deletion reason reading "Wow. Just wow." Were his comments any better? Let's take a gander under the tarpaulin.

"There so tiny. I want one!"
(from the Of being a foster parent ... of kittens FPP)

"I wonder how much that would go for in an auction! Its amazing."
(from the Miniature Illuminated Manuscript FPP)

"HAHA, that is ridic!!"
(from the Giant Vulva Bicycle Taxi FPP)

Smuggler was apparently so keen was on smuggling his spam, he couldn't even finishing typing the word 'ridiculous'. mathowie made the kill, and Smuggler smuggled spam no more.

[Learn more about this spammer at the Deleted Thread Blog]

born4thesurf

In the absence of any new spam-meat in the last few days on Metafilter (a good thing, I assure you) and the presence of an abundance of free time in my schedule (a rarity, I assure you), I've decided to do a few retro-posts. This latest one is from January 2008 and features the delights of the deceptively named born4thesurf. I say deceptively named because he was clearly born to spam Metafilter, rather than catch the latest wave from out beyond the break (or something). Let's review his three gnarly moves.

" Vinyl records are in the news at the moment. Just this morning I spotted on the London Stock Exchange website that old vinyl records are rapidly emerging as a high yielding alternative investment."
(from the (NSC) - RIP Ron Murphy, master vinyl cutter. FPP)

"Great Image. Yeah lightning will strike the tallest thing in the area, and this certainly qualifies. Very nice though."
(from the God messes with the Jesus FPP)

"Illegal movie downloads and music downloads is a big subject that hasn't gone way for as long as I can remember. Taxing customers via their ISP connection fee and then pass that money onto the various media sources is hugely complicated! In terms of movie download companies like Apple and Vizumi are doing their best to entice users to download legally but not sure how effective this will be in the long run. Apple certainly did well for music with itunes. Can they repeat the same success with imovies?"
(from the Illegal downloaders 'face UK ban' FPP)

This time it seems as though born4thesurf bit off a wave bigger than he could chew with jessamyn performing the kill. Whoa dude! Wiiiiiiiiipeout!!!!

[Learn more about this spammer at the Deleted Thread Blog]

PinkTurtle

PinkTurtle contributed three comments to Metafilter and before revealing her rasion d'etre for being on Metafilter was to spam us with a link to some photos of... well, a turtle. Or was it a tortoise? I'm not really sure. Perhaps it would be best if I just told you what her comments were before she felt the wrath of The Banhammer.

" Most of today's pop music sound alien to me."
(from the Nothing's gonna change my world? FPP)

"I finally will be able to find pants that fit me. If you can afford them."
(from the Fat Ass FPP)

" I love how the "street light" is done by wiping soot off the wall."
(from the Skelewags FPP)

Describing her spameriffic link as being "incredibly transparent", cortex made the kill, leaving Metafilter's janitorial staff to wipe PinkTurtle's entrails from the wall.

[Learn more about this spammer at the Deleted Thread Blog]

inghamb87

Some of you might not know I'm an Australian and I live in the Australian state of Queensland. In this great state is a town call Ingham. I only mention that because inghamb87, the spammer who is the subject of our latest post here at 'Musings' has a name that is spelled virtually identically to this particular town. Beyond that I've got nothing else to say, except for sharing the three comments inghamb87 graced us with before losing his posting privileges.

"What's amazing is that Milton's work still resonates so well today. I saw the play version of paradise lost a few years ago and the reaction was incredible."
(from the Of Man's First Disobedience FPP)

"That's evil!"
(from the Never Gonna Make You Cry FPP)

"The moral of that story is...shit happens."
(from the Bono's Joshua Tree RIP FPP)

And the moral of this particular post is that spammers get banned, in this instance by mathowie, even if you're named after pleasant regional Queensland towns. Shit happens indeed.

[Learn more about this spammer at the Deleted Thread blog]

de novo dahl

In a case of multiple personalities that would make even the most experienced therapist sweat, de novo dahl is not just one Metafilter spammer... s/he's four men and one woman. More than this; de novo dahl is a band. Three throwaway comments after joining, they posted a link to their bands website. Let's take a look at some of their lyrics comments.

"Thanks!"
(from the 2008 Animated Short Film Oscar Noms FPP)

"Mario and Sonic in the same game makes me feel dirty. It's like if Vince McMahon and Eric Bischoff were on the same show. Oh wait."
(from the New Meaning to "Gettin Smashed All Weekend" FPP)

"I love me some jezzball, but this is pretty buggy. Thanks for the link though. One more thing to do instead of actually working."
(from the Jumpin' Jezzballs FPP)

Interestingly, de novo dahl did not feel the mighty wrath of The Banhammer and has since gone on to contribute two songs to Metafilter Music and 3 answers to AskMe. So not banned... but probably should have been. Merciful indeed is our Lord cortex, who killed the spammy post but spared the spammer.

[More info on this spammer can be found at the Deleted Thread blog]

skalitenko

What is a skalitenko, you might very well ask? Not sure, I would answer. Except to say he's a spammer who posted just three comments about food and food preperation to Metafilter before doing the dirty deed. Here's what he said.

"In my opinion the important thing to remember is to cook beef properly."
(from the Where's The Beef? FPP)

"If you want to get rid of a problem -- look for the cause. Same can be applied for bad food. In my understanding there are 3 major types/causes of bad food:

1. Chemicals in our food, e.g. MSG -- monosodium glutamate.
2. Change in food form, e.g. flower: because of milling absorbtion surface goes up dramatically, resulting in abnormally high blood sugar, therefore too high insulin level, then too low blood sugar, causing food craving. Same applies to cookies!
3. Food we are not created to eat, e.g. milk or juices.

Bottom line: do not eat processed food!
Sergey Kalitenko. MD"
(from the Finish your plate please. FPP)

"Everything is good in moderation."
(from the Beery eyed FPP)

Two things to remember skalitenko. Spamming Metafilter is never good, even in moderation. And never provide a moderator with advice on how to ban your ass. mathowie looked for the cause of the problem... you... and banned you. Bottom line; do not spam Metafilter!

[More info on this spammer can be found at the Deleted Thread Blog]

entrepreneur35

It was clear to many of us that entrepreneur35 was an entrepreneur. It said it, right there in his own username. What entrepreneur35 probably didn't know was that spamming the Metafilter frontpage to his computing website was against site policy. Or maybe he did know but didn't care. Either way, three comments into his career at Metafilter, this entrepreneur's prospects were cut short. Let's watch him ride the ladder of opportunity to the bottom.

"very interesting"
(from the If it really works, it's the coolest audio production tool ever. FPP)

"This is really cool. Microsoft is releasing the worldwide telescope as well, I hear."
(from the asleep at light speed FPP)

"Awesome list, very helpful."
(from the Meet your new weblog overlords FPP)

The dynamic duo of mathowie and cortex worked together once again to take this spammer down, and Gotham Ci... I mean, Metafilter, was safe from evildoers once more.

richdan

There are any number of ways that richdan could have gotten rich. A win in the lottery. Careful investments. Saving really hard and being a spend-thrift. This was not how richdan got rich. He probably made his fortune self-linking to his website promoting his band that plays at weddings (a wedding band, yuk yuk) which had apparently put together "7 mindblowing illusions". The veracity of this claim is highly disputable, but what is clear is that he contributed only three not very mindblowing comments to Metafilter before spamming it, which I have displayed below for your reading pleasure.

"Very nice posting. If only more people could do this"
(from the Paz sin fronteras FPP)

"Incredible. I have bene observig this technology for some time and think it will be very significant in our future lives"
(from the Digital telepathy? FPP)

"Amazing. When can I go?"
(from the asleep at light speed FPP)

According to cortex, wielder of The Mighty Banhammer, richdan was able to go (away) on March 16th 2008. Very nice. If only more spammers could do this.

bmilly

It was bmilly's intent to write a spammy post about Facebook and the making of much money, and he did after the usual three throwaway comments. He graced our presence with the following musings of great intellectual importance.

"Ummm... very strange?"
(from the Be my baby FPP)

"Hahaha... George Clooney rules"
(from the He looks great for a 70-year-old. FPP)

"Disgusting I hope she wins."
(from the Something "special" in the air? FPP)

The dynamic duo of mathowie and cortex defeated bmilly's nefarious scheme. Millions of dollars and Facebook friends were not made this day, except for the extra $5 in mathowies bank account.

monkee

If ever a deletion reason encapsulated what this blog is about, cortex and mathowie did it when deleting a self-link by monkee. On deleting monkee's FPP, the dynamic duo wrote "Hey! A bald-faced self-link, a week and exactly three throwaway comments after you joined the site! Get bent!" What were those three throwaway comments, exactly? They were;

"Id like my hair back"
(from the Regrowing Limbs FPP)

"Cool deal"
(from the Match it for Pratchett FPP)

"It begins"
(from the Contemporary Hooverville FPP)

Hey, hey it was monkee! And two mods said he was monkeying around. But he was too busy spamming/ To put a significant FPP down...

pkerri1975

In a spammy FPP that was apparently 33 years in the making, pkerr1975 made three comments to Metafilter before claiming that 'Determinism' made him (or is it a her?) do it. Before being walloped with the Mighty Banhammer, pkerri1975 shared the following pearls of wisdom with us.

"I love the lunch at zero gravity. "Astronauts will be able to eat almost anything".......yeah as long as it is paste. I think they would prefer the toasted bacon."
(from the Give me convenient bacon or give me death FPP)

"very very niffty! but can't help but think that some people have an awful lot of time on their hands."
(from the I got rhythm, I got music... FPP)

"i didn't get to read about any of the details as I couldn't stop playing with the graphic at the top of the page."
(from the Photoshop Express - beta version FPP)

Although it was jessamyn who made the kill, this spammers tombstone epitaph reportedly reads "pkerri1975 (1975 - 2008). He or she determined his or her own ghastly fate."

Winsoar.

First post on this new blog and the first cab off the rank and straight into Bansville is Winsoar. Before posting his spamtastic FPP, he wrote a grand total of 3 cat-themed comments and they were;

"I have to admit I had no idea what a theremin was."
(from the Theremin cats FPP)

"Can you create custom cat cartoons?"
(from the The Hole in the Wall on Top Shelf! FPP)

"I'm always amazed to see dogs and cats getting along so well."
(from the Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria! FPP)

mathowie made the kill. The only question now is whether or not winsoar got to go to cat heaven? I guess we'll never know.