ghostdog

When ghostdog was signing up for an account on Metafilter, he was probably not aware of just how apt his screen name woould end up becoming. Not only did he post a spamtastic FPP after 7 comments, his contributions were so bad they evoked (long-repressed) memories of that terrible 1990 movie Ghost Dad starring Bill Cosby. Somewhat surprisingly for a spammer, not all his comments were throwaways. Let us review his contributions to Metafilter, and you'll see what I mean.

"Amazing subjects and photography. A must share site for my friends in the photography industry."
(from the Now it's dark. FPP)

"Blaming OPEC is like blaming a baby for soiling his diaper. All commodity prices are based on the "futures" market. Here is an oversimplification of how these markets work (someone correct me if I mispeak) A farmer needs to know how many acres of soybeans he should plant this year. A futures trader purchases a contract for a specific date in the future to purchase X number of bushels of soybeans at a specific price. By doing so the trader controls the right to those soybeans.Lets say the weather or some blight affects the yield of the farmers soybean harvest. The farmer is stuck. He has to deliver his soybeans at the time and price he had agreed upon. This may result in a tremendous lost to the farmer but the trader that purchased that "futures contact" is now in the drivers seat. If he purchased enough contracts he sets the price for soybeans. This being the case he will maximize his profit by creating a shortage greater than the actual harvest shortfall.The same rules apply to oil.

Make sense. Thoughts?

The futures traders are making a killing right now."
(from the Oil Tops Inflation-Adjusted Record Set in 1980 FPP)

"Billy Bragg and Wilco. Great versions of Woody Gutherie...Ingrid Bergman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfIPdRNV7cg"
(from the Grievous Angel FPP)

"Dumb question but hey I'm just a dog. How do you hotlink?"
(also from the Grievous Angel FPP)

"I have found heaven on the internet. Someone else who likes Jonathan Richman!! I still have his LPs with the Modern Lovers and "Back in Your Life" still reminds me of the girl I almost married in MA.Almost wet myself when he showed up in "Something about Mary"."
(also from the Grievous Angel FPP)

"Somehow you never forget those Sears catelogues from when you were a kid."
(from the A tribute to the Corsetiere FPP)

"An Ivy Leaguer is an Ivy Leaguer regardless of his skin color."
(from the Tim Wise on Obama and Race FPP)

Upon discovering his self-linking ways, mathowie and ghostdog engaged in a conversation. "But I've got to make it to Thursday!" ghostdog pleased. "It's for my children. My wife died a few years ago and I'm all they have left. Please, Sir Math Owie!" Well, to cut a long and terribly scripted story short, mathowie didn't take to kindly to the way ghostdog pronounced his name, thus ending any chance ghostdog had of finding a scientist to send him back to the world of the living so that he could self-link again and make sure that his children are taken care of.

[More Info at the Deleted Thread Blog]

Eavesy

Eavesy didn't really try to hide her self-link. A mere 4 comments after joining the site, she "just found this pretty cool post about..." well it dosen't really matter does it? Anyone who just found a pretty cool post about something and posts it to Metafilter on their first post is usually guilty, right? Eavesy certainly was, and got The Banhammer for her trouble. Best of all, it appears that not only was it a self-link, it was a failed self-link (meaning she borked the URL on her first attempt). Here's what she had to say before the heavens descended upon her.

"@miss lynnster it can swing the other way, if a guy is really ugly it can help him to cover up his face."
(from the "Each day, every man must decide either to shave or not to shave. The act can be one of conformity, rebellion, laziness, or transition." FPP)

""Is something troubling you my son" - Classic"
(from the Shall we say one million... AH-HA! FPP)

"O'h the poor bunnies, what could anyone have against them?"
(from the I'm mellltiiiiing! FPP)

"it should be working now, read before you judge, I am new here so I maybe should not have submitted it, will try and write a better description next time."
(from her own spammy FPP which I'm not linking too)

The Banhammer was wielded by both jessamyn and mathowie in this instance and Eavesy was dispatched of easily.

pkerri1975

In a spammy FPP that was apparently 33 years in the making, pkerr1975 made three comments to Metafilter before claiming that 'Determinism' made him (or is it a her?) do it. Before being walloped with the Mighty Banhammer, pkerri1975 shared the following pearls of wisdom with us.

"I love the lunch at zero gravity. "Astronauts will be able to eat almost anything".......yeah as long as it is paste. I think they would prefer the toasted bacon."
(from the Give me convenient bacon or give me death FPP)

"very very niffty! but can't help but think that some people have an awful lot of time on their hands."
(from the I got rhythm, I got music... FPP)

"i didn't get to read about any of the details as I couldn't stop playing with the graphic at the top of the page."
(from the Photoshop Express - beta version FPP)

Although it was jessamyn who made the kill, this spammers tombstone epitaph reportedly reads "pkerri1975 (1975 - 2008). He or she determined his or her own ghastly fate."

ineedmotivation

It seems that ineedmotivation didn't need much motivation to self-link to the Metafilter front page. Only two comments in, he made a crap-tastic FPP about stress that led to his one way ticket to Bansville. What were his two comments that motivated him to get off the couch and share his thoughts with the world? They were;

"interesting abstract images"
(from the She blinded me with science! FPP)

"it's really weird that we can see something now that happened so long ago....so perhaps whatever we emit here on Earth as far as signals will only be capted by another civilization on some planet in billions of years....!"
(from the Gamma Ray Bursts - they're neat FPP)

Ultimately cortex didn't need much motivation to wield the banhammer on this particular spammer.